Why Self-Compassion Matters and How to Practice It

Many people are harder on themselves than they would ever be on someone else. That critical inner voice might say things like "You are not good enough” or "You should have done better.” Over time, this self-criticism takes a toll on mental health, fueling anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The antidote is self-compassion: treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.

Why self-compassion matters

Self-compassion does not mean ignoring mistakes or making excuses. Instead, it means acknowledging your struggles without judgment and recognizing that being imperfect is part of being human. Research shows that self-compassion helps reduce stress, improve resilience, and increase overall well-being. People who practice self-compassion are often more motivated, not less, because they support themselves instead of tearing themselves down.

What self-compassion looks like

• Kindness instead of criticism: Speaking to yourself with encouragement rather than harsh judgment.

• Recognizing common humanity: Remembering that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.

• Mindfulness: Noticing your emotions without exaggerating or ignoring them.

How to practice self-compassion

• Change your self-talk: When you catch yourself being critical, ask, "What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Then say that to yourself.

• Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to your feelings without labeling them as "good” or "bad.”

• Use grounding affirmations: Remind yourself, “I am doing the best I can right now.”

• Write it down: Journaling about challenges with a compassionate tone helps shift perspective.

• Seek support: Therapy can help you build self-compassion, especially if your inner critic feels overwhelming.

Self-compassion in therapy

Individual counseling provides a safe space to explore where self-criticism comes from and to learn healthier ways of relating to yourself. Many people find that practicing self-compassion in therapy leads to more confidence, stronger boundaries, and improved relationships.

At Etheridge Psychology, we offer therapy in Cary, NC, that focuses on building resilience, reducing self-criticism, and supporting long-term growth. If you struggle with being too hard on yourself, learning self-compassion could be the first step toward feeling more balanced and confident.